FROM CNN NEWS, DATELINE AUSTIN, 9 JUNE 2011
Ramón Talavera Franco, a prominent figure in Austin’s Spanish language outreach community, has gone missing.
His absence - first noted early Thursday morning - has been linked to his announcement that he intends to leave central Texas.
“I read in his email that he planned to abandon us,” said Elena, a participant in his Wednesday night classes. “I knew we had to do something to keep him here.”
Other participants supplied details. “First of all, he’s perfectly safe,” Juanita insisted. “Until he comes to his senses, we’re housing him in a deluxe storage locker.”
“Each Wednesday,” Carolina added, “we’ll escort him to a secret meeting place and force him to discuss Spanish stories and poems for an hour and a half.”
“He’s the best,” said Pancho. “Even so, at first I was opposed to the storage locker. But Debbie talked me into it.” (Debbie declined to be interviewed for this story.)
“Lo siento mucho,” Talavera said in a statement that – according to experts - was rendered under duress. But some of those interviewed were not moved to forgiveness.
“He pretended to be Mr. Nice Guy,” said Keatha. “He pretended to like us. And then, just like that, he says: ‘Me voy de Austin’? Well, I say: ‘Not so fast, buddy.’”
(Austin Public Library announced that psychologists would be available on Wednesday nights in July to help those still angry about Talavera’s announcement.)
“Last night I dreamed I returned from Spain and Talavera had gone to Boston,” said Ron. “I asked myself, ’Why did I return to Austin? No Talavera, no joy in life.’”
“The news about Ramón leaving: that was rough,” said Michael. “Imagine all of us speaking German on Wednesday nights. It just does not compute.”
“We have to keep Ramón around,” said Leonardo. “Who else can understand me when I try to speak Spanish? (Now where did I put that key to the storage locker?)”
END
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